Panic Buying


OK, so I fly to Norway in a week and a day. This is confronting because:

  1. I won’t be earning any money while I’m over there.
  2. I don’t cope well with long haul flights. They give me no sleep and make my body turn against me in multiple ways. Oh, and they give me cankles (the cankles I can handle, the rest not so much).
  3. In Norway, I may possibly meet one of these Ghastly Arachnids of Doom … which means dealing with my not-so-mild phobia before I go.

So, yes, my mind has been melting these last few days. As a result:

  • I found myself in Coles buying discounted white capri pants that were two sizes too big. That’s right, I panic purchased cheap middle-aged mum-wear from a supermarket. Still not sure why.
  • I went to Hudsons today. Not only is Hudsons one of the worst places to get coffee in Melbourne, but they serve bad quiche. I bought a bad quiche, with a side serve of plastic cutlery and I sat alone eating it while planning a visit to Emporium. “Is there anything more hipster than that?” I hear you say. That’s right, I think my superego has melted. Beneath this counter-culture fa├žade is a raging “normal”, just waiting to break out. Help me, I’m trapped in the body of a composting, meat-shunning cyclist!

Side note: I felt bad about the plastic cutlery, so I brought it home with me. I’m not sure that helps and it may technically count as hoarding. But I’m going to try and use it on the plane and then bin it when it inevitably breaks at some point during the trip.